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Friday, 8 September 2017

Home again (And why I am learning the importance of Time)

So last week I packed my bags, filled cardboard boxes and made the trip back to my parents.

I am now in Northampton till the end of the month.

When I made the decision to go back, I had a lot of conflicting thoughts, namely:
1. Why? Why am I going back when I intentionally went so far away?
2. Can I cope with the lack of independence that living with parents entails again?
3. Is this regressive?
And 4. I need some time off.

That number 4 is the crucial argument, the one that won me over.
I have been working full-time, from the day after my last exam till last Friday. I have created four pieces of national work, I have developed some good practice and I have learned a hell of a lot with one of the biggest charitable organisations in Wales.

Because of that, life has passed in a bit of a blur since that magical letter telling me I had secured my 2:1.
I have tried to see as many friends as I can, and as many members of my family as I can, but when you're working full time, about three hours away from most of your family/friends, it's difficult.

Last weekend I secured a position, beginning October, as a British Youth Council Trustee, something I've wanted to be for several years, with an organisation I have represented for the last 18 months. I am so proud of myself for that, and the desire to move immediately back to Wales and begin working in the not-for-profit sector is immense.
But that's not what I need right now, I think.

I need a few weeks of downtime, I need a few weeks of catching up on Game of Thrones, and drinking hot chocolate, and conquering the world in any game that lets me.
And I need to breathe, and go to the pub with friends, and have long, essentially meaningless conversations about politics and life and growing up.

I need some time off.

That's a very difficult 5 words for me. My Father is the same, we have had many conversations about our innate desire to always be busy.
The problem is, if you're working full-time, and your head is consumed with work, you miss the fun of the fair.
The golden rule is working to live, and I'd like to add a caveat.
"Work to Live, occasionally don't work and enjoy it."
Not as catchy, but just as important.

I find it incredibly easy to throw myself into things. Then several months later I lift my head out of the project and realise I need some time to myself.
The biggest lesson I guess I'm learning is being kind to me.

I'm certain that's a lesson I will continue to learn till the day I die.

I am proud of myself. That's a sentence I didn't think I'd be saying about five years ago. I am so well positioned to do what I want to do. That's another sentence I didn't think I'd be saying about five years ago.
It's time to relax a bit, eat, drink, and catch up with people I care about. I'll do that till the end of the month, and then throw myself back into everything.
I think I deserve that much.